Matched With Love's Recommended Reading List

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Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find-And Keep-Love by Amir Levine, M.D. and Rachel S. F. Heller, M.A.

In Attached, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller reveal how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychiatrist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:
ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back
AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness
SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving

Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by John Gottman, PhD; Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD; Doug Abrams; and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD

Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort—and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on forty years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams.

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Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After by Katherine Woodward Thomas

Conscious Uncoupling is for anyone suffering with a heart that is hurting because of the loss of a love relationship. So, whether you’re: In the midst of a breakup right now, Still struggling with unresolved pain from a past breakup, or Anticipating a possible breakup and wish to ensure it goes well, Conscious Uncoupling was created just for you.

Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb

You have a fulfilling job, great friends, and the perfect apartment. So what if you haven’t found “The One” just yet. He’ll come along someday, right?

But what if he doesn’t? Or what if Mr. Right had been, well, Mr. Right in Front of You—but you passed him by? Nearing forty and still single, journalist Lori Gottlieb started to wonder: What makes for lasting romantic fulfillment, and are we looking for those qualities when we’re dating? Are we too picky about trivial things that don’t matter, and not picky enough about the often overlooked things that do?

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Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown

In Atlas of the Heart, Brown takes us on a journey through eighty-seven of the emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human. As she maps the necessary skills and an actionable framework for meaningful connection, she gives us the language and tools to access a universe of new choices and second chances—a universe where we can share and steward the stories of our bravest and most heartbreaking moments with one another in a way that builds connection.

Finding Love Again by Terri L. Orbuch

Based on a groundbreaking 25-year study of marriage, divorce, and new love―finding the right one just became 100% possible. Whether you're divorced or separated, out of a long-term relationship, or newly dating after a long break, Finding Love Again will help you prepare for a healthy and fulfilling new relationship. Brimming with stunning original findings, first-person stories, and eye-opening advice, Finding Love Again shows you simple, practical strategies that have been shown time and again to help singles find someone special. Dr. Terri L. Orbuch, renowned relationship expert and director of a pioneering relationship study, shows you:

  • Eight relationship myths that are sabotaging your love life.

  • Why singles who have little or no contact with an ex's family find love at significantly higher rates than singles who keep in close contact with their ex-in-laws.

  • How singles who make one change to their daily routine―and stick with it for at least 21 days―are twice as likely to find new love.

  • Why the happiest couples in new relationships are the ones who don't share bank accounts.


Finding Love Again shows proven strategies that can help anyone find love again.