Summer is upon us! One awesome thing about summer is that it seems to magnify our time, increase our focus, regenerate our energy, and amplify our happiness. The days are longer, the air is warmer, and motivation to connect is marginally higher! With all that opportunity, why not brush up on our interpersonal dating skills and confidence? Let’s walk into this summer with a bit of preparation and new knowledge that can set you up for better success in meeting potential partners. If you haven’t already read these love-pro classics— spend a few of those extra day-light hours checking out our recommended booklist! We promise these five books will be a foundational start to your quest for love.
1. Attached - Amir Levine and Rachel S.F Heller: Ever wondered why your anxiety intensifies when you don’t get a text back? Or why vulnerability and closeness feels invasive and uncomfortable? Our upbringing and childhood interactions with our caregivers play a large part in the way that we show up to our adult relationships. How we respond, how we engage, and how we connect are all based off our initial attachments as children. Find out how your attachment style may be aiding or destroying your relationships- and healthier relationship behaviors to level up your love life.
2. How To Not Die Alone - Logan Ury: Want some practical, no BS tips on how to approach dating and being single? This book walks through the woes of modern dating and how to navigate constant uncertainty, repetitive rejection, and awareness of our own self-sabotage. Through humor, relatable stories and anecdotes, and science based research, Ury walks you through how to avoid our most common dating mistakes. Don’t let the title fool you! By the end of this read, you will feel empowered and motivated to find a love worth living for.
3. Atlas of the Heart - Brené Brown: If you have ever been curious about the nature of human emotions and the expansiveness of their personal messages, this book is for you. Brown walks readers through more than 80 different emotions and the intricacies of each, painting a beautiful picture of what it means to engage, relate, and connect emotionally as a fellow human. She explains the purpose and path of each internal emotional state and the importance of embracing all feelings as the information that they are.
4. The 5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman: If you read my article last month, you know exactly how I feel about the 5 Love Languages and their important role in initial dating compatibility. Preemptively using this book to understand your love and connection preferences will allow you to walk into relationships with awareness and clarity. Knowing your love language can help with clearer partner discernment as well as a proactive approach to communication and affection. Explore the importance of flexibility, compromise, and relationship needs with this 5 pillared framework.
5. Eight Dates - John and Julie Gottman: You’ve already begun dating someone, and now you are interested in setting up a secure foundation for it to last. This is the book for you! Whether you are newly dating, or finding your way back to one another, Eight Dates walks couples, new and old, through the pivotal conversations that are required for healthy connection and an enduring relationship. Through crucial topics about parenting, conflict resolution, communication, sex, and more- each chapter tackles a different area of exploration. The Gottmans walk you through which conversations are most important to have in your relationship - and how to have them effectively.